Sunday, March 6, 2011

Why I think my cat is part Wookie

I think my cat is part Wookie

My youngest cat has to be part Wookie, no doubt about it.  The evidence is overwhelming! So I’ve gathered up some evidence, because no one believes me that my cat is a descendent of the Wookies of Kyyshak.  

First I’m going to bring up her temperament.  Now Wookies are known for their short tempers and unpleasant dispositions.  My cat - we’ll call her “Lola” to keep her identity hidden is one of the bitchest cats I’ve ever met in my life.  Her death stare is so intense she can look at you, and make you suddenly want your mommy.  She’s mean, she’s bullies my other cat, and she isn’t the most pleasant smelling. -That has nothing to do with my theory; I just had to call her out on it. : ) - Try to look her in the eye in this picture, I dare you to, look at it and tell me you don’t pee a little out of fear. You say you don’t?  I say you’re a frackin liar! Wookie!

 Second, it is important to warn you that if you play “Lola” at galactic space chess, it is best to let her win. Come to think of it, you should probably let her win at Wizards Chess as well. - Speaking of, does anyone know where I can find a really good Wizards Chess Set?  The only ones I can find, the pieces don’t move, so technically that’s not a Wizards Chess Set. - Any who…Appendages have been severed, to this day, I still don’t know where my left pinky is.  Wookie!

Third, she sounds like a Wookie.  Now I don’t have any audio proof, I really wish I did, so your just gonna have to trust me on this one.  She doesn’t so much meow as it is kind of a bark. A meowie/bark.  A meark.  Every time I scold her for doing something she knows she’s not suppose to do, she mearks at me and it instantly makes me think of Chewie.  Wookie!

Fourth, she may be a mean ass bitch, but any good Wookie is also very loyal.  I can say with certainty, that if I were caught by Boba Fett and frozen in carbonate, “Lola” would get her fury little ass captured so she can help in the plot to rescue me.  I think that’s sweet.  Wookie! (sidebar- I’ve also come to the conclusion that she would rescue me just so she can scratch the shit out of my arm while I’m sleeping, which backs up my first claim. Wookie!)

So those are four reasons I’ve come up with so far, there may be more in the future.

New evidence found!!!  Is “Lola” part Wookie?……or part Jawa? You be the judge.

BTW she just bit me, as I’m finishing up writing this.  It’s obvious she’s knows I’m getting close to the truth about her ancestry.  

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